August Rush

Although the title of this post is the name of a recent movie, it is also a term adequately describing this month. The beginning of school, the return of Boy Scout meetings and violin lessons, gymnastics lessons, two birthdays (and parties), and we have happily added an adoption to the month. The start of school also brings with it Meet the Teacher night, parent/child school orientation, PTA meetings, and homework. Needless to say, I'm exhausted!

It's interesting to compare the perspective of the child's versus the parents. I remember a carefree childhood, walking to and from school, playing with friends, coming in for dinner when I was called, the dreaded announcement of "bath time" (that always meant I had to come in early), laughing (or arguing) with my sisters, bed time stories about Brer Rabbit and Brer Bear...etc. I don't recall being rushed or feeling any need for organization or responsibility. But as an adult I feel much more pressure to get things done on time, to fit it all in in a day, to keep things organized, etc. Do my children notice this? Do they sense the pressure I experience? Or are they living the same type of carefree childhood I had, oblivious of the pressures of the adult world? I hope so.

Adoption Day Photos

It's a Boy!!!!

Most children join a family at birth in a hospital. Our son officially...legally...joined our family in a court room. We entered the court room surrounded by family...the people who will love, support and help raise our children along with us. Our attorney sat to our right. A social worker to our left. The judge in front of us. We raised our right hand vowing to tell the truth and the hearing began.

Tim (our attorney) asked me a series of questions: Will you state your name for the record? Where do you live? Are you married to the man sitting next to you? What was the date of your marriage? What is Nathan's birth date? When was he placed in your home? Is it your intention to finalize the adoption of Nathan today? Do you believe you can care for, maintain and educate Nathan? Do you believe this adoption is in Nathan's best interest? I answered all of these questions...they were familiar. I've heard them a hundred times before only I was the adoption specialist, not the adoptive parent.

Then it was Mike's turn: Where you present in the courtroom when your wife was asked the previous questions? If you were asked the same questions would your answers be the same? Do you believe this adoption is in Nathan's best interest?

When the attorneys were through with us, they turned to the social worker, asking about our ability to care for, maintain and educate Nathan but my mind was wandering. I was staring at Nathan, so proud of this little boy who in just moments would be my son. I couldn't imagine my life without him and quietly thanked God for bringing him into our lives. I glanced over at Ryan and Grace...two amazing children who love having Nathan as their little brother, who are protective of him, care for him, love him and fully accept him as though born to our family. But today he was born to us...born in a court room with a judge announcing his birth...

"The court finds that the adoption of this child is in the child's best interest and from this day forward for all intents and purposes shall be the child of the petitioner and that his name shall be changed to Nathaniel William Ray...."

Grace's Joke

Mike was telling Ryan and Grace jokes this evening and Grace came up with one of her own. Here it is:

Grace: Why did the elephant fly on a plane?
Mike: Why?
Grace: So he could take a trip to Florida.

I don't know about you, but I thought that was the funniest joke ever!

Chivalry

The other day after work I picked the kids up from my moms and came home. It was raining. My hands were full. I was carrying a toddler, a case I brought home from work, my purse, Nathan's shoes, which he insists on taking off every time we are in the car, and an umbrella. I gave my keys to Ryan so he could unlock the door. He and Grace ran ahead. I was walking up the stairs to the door just as Ryan turned the doorknob. He and Grace walk in and SLAM...the door shuts. I am still standing outside. I opened the door, barely holding on to the contents in my arms. I immediately turn to Ryan and explain that he should hold the door open for me. This enters us into a conversation about chivalry.

Ryan doesn't quite understand. He feels that what I am saying is that females are more important that males. I try to explain that holding the door open for a girl/woman in no way means that females have greater importance. We discuss how God made men and women differently and how men, historically, were the protectors and caretakers of the family.

I find myself awkwardly trying to explain the meaning of chivalry. The term was historically used in medieval times and was a code of courtesy, especially of a man toward a woman. At that time, it was believed that women were the fairer or weaker sex and one of the duties of a knight was to serve their lady and to be gracious and gentle with all women. But times have changed, obviously. The line between the roles of men and women are blurred. I am not against this by any means. But as I get older, I can see the individual gifts that we each have. I can see how and why we were created differently. And in some way, I wish the roles were more clearly defined.

So, I'm looking for advice. Should a boy still be taught to be chivalrous? If so, how do I explain to my boys why this is important?