I was sitting in the drive-through at McDonald's with my window down contemplating what to order when I overheard the person in the car directly in front of me, "A large coffee with two creams and two sugars." I was considering his selection when I became conscious of the fact that I was making "a face". The face you might display when you just smelled something unpleasantly pungent.

What is wrong with me? I don't like coffee and never have. I hear people all the time talking about "meeting for coffee" or "hanging out in the coffee shop" or how wonderful Starbucks is! And I just feel like an immature girl who never quite grew up, never acquiring the taste for this drink that seems to be some rite of passage into adulthood.

Oddly enough, my sister feels the same way. I called her after exiting the drive-through to discuss this topic reminiscent of a Seinfeld episode. I explained to her my plan to move to the next stage of my life...that of a coffee drinker. There must be some kind of coffee out there that I find appealing. Maybe something hazelnutty or chocolaty... something smooth and creamy and frothy! I will WILL myself to enjoy it and maybe when I feel that jolt of caffeine I usually welcome every morning when I drink my diet soda, I will suddenly fall in love with that warm cup of Joe.

Then, after I become a coffee connoisseur, I will be able to join the rest of that club...that of "the coffee drinker.

Right now...

Ryan was sick today so he stayed home from school. I worked from home most of the day. Grace went to school. Nathan played with his fire trucks, watched the Wiggles (his latest obsession), and asked me a trillion questions. All of my answers were quickly followed by another question..."why?"

Grace got home from school, picked up her Ipod and went outside to play with Ali and to ride her electric scooter. She came in later to gather some blankets, which she laid in the back of Mike's pick-up (You know...the one from last year that we have not yet gotten rid of. Yes...I am trying really hard to fit the part of hoosier/red neck girl. I have the broken down truck in the driveway. Now all I need is to have bare feet, a baby on my hip and a beer in my hand and it will be official!) Anyway, I called Grace in to do her homework, helped her with it, and scraped together some food..."dinner" in the loosest sense of the word!

Ryan's fever went down thanks to Target's generic brand of Motrin so he felt good enough to organize some of his Pokemon cards. He brought them to me and announced that he was going to sell them on Ebay for $400. Grace came in and got some candy. Nathan got into the closet and found an umbrella which I promptly took away from him because he has broken every one we've had. Then he found this green, frog raincoat. I can hear the sound of the plastic as he puts in on, takes it off, puts it on again upside down, takes it off, puts it on, and comes to me to ask me to "snap it up".

Ryan just came out of his room dressed in nice black pants, black leather dress shoes, a light blue oxford and a tie! He said he was going on a pretend date. He walked back in the room and sprayed a little Axe. Then he sauntered into the kitchen, leaned against the wall, put one foot up on the wall behind him and gave me a look like he was modeling for GQ. Ugh...I hate that he is growing up so fast. I only have about 8 more years left before he leaves home for college!

Where's Grace? Let me check...okay...she's running up the street with her helmet on with a walkie-talking in her hand while her friend, Ali, rides her motor scooter down the street. Why do I always see someone else on Grace's motor scooter? She is just so sweet...always sharing. But I fear she also gets taken advantage of.

Oh...here comes Nathan with his frog raincoat..."This isn't working, mommy!" Nevermind...he just walked in to ask Ryan if he wanted to wear his "froggie jacket". Ryan is now playing the Wii and for some reason is telling Nathan not to be "weird". And Nathan is calling him "Dorothy the Dinosaur". I still hear that plastic...uh oh...Nathan is now really frustrated. He can't zip up his raincoat. Let me help him....Okay...I did it. He was so pleased. I told him to go look in the mirror. He smiled, pointed his fingers, leaned back, lifted one leg and said, "To the big red car!", which he says about 15 times a day. Anyone who knows the Wiggles will know that phrase. Then he went to look in the mirror.

Here comes Grace. She wants to know if she can go down the street. She pleaded, "Anila really super, super wants me. She's a really nice friend from school. Can I go play down the street? It's just right down there, past the stop sign." Okay...just for a few minutes. Ryan's moved on to Wii tennis. Nathan is watching him. Oh no...I hear arguing. I think Ali just threatened to go home because Grace was playing with someone else and then Grace said, "Okay I won't play with them!" See what I mean? I will take care of this..."Grace, it's time to come in." Nathan just said "poop". Now Ryan and Nathan are talking about "toots" and "farts" Well, that's where "right now" ends...I need to move into "later".

:-)

Yesterday, Ryan brought me a baseball and a pen and asked for my autograph. He said, "Your autograph should be worth a million dollars because you are the best mom in the world!" And I will cherish all of these moments because when he is a teenager, I am fairly certain he won't feel the same!

It seems every time we turn around there is some house repair, car expense, or some bill that arrives that we weren't expecting. Just when we feel we are getting ahead then BAM! Something happens.

And then there are the ordinary expenses of holidays, birthdays, Boy scouts, gymnastics, baseball, violin lessons, and the change of seasons requiring new clothing purchases.

What about those little inconveniences in life like spilled milk, crumbled up Cheese-its on the carpet, dog hair, Nathan throwing up in my lap right before Ryan pitches for the first time, permanent marker on clothes, fingernail polish on the couch, discovering gum in the washer after it was left in a pocket or the ants that made their way into the house and into the dog's dish.

Some might complain that their child climbs into their bed night after night no matter how many times you put them back in their own bed or the radio is too loud or the bikes and helmets and bases and balls are strewn all over the yard.

Some say things like, "Why does this always happen to us?" or "We will never get ahead in life!" These are the people who choose to look at life through that glass-half-empty lens and who refuse to see life on the other end of the spectrum. How unhappy and hopeless life must feel.

I admit I have my moments where the stress gets to be a little too much and I might have a fleeting thought of "I wish my life was different". But it doesn't take long for me to realize that if I didn't have a car repair that means I don't have a car. And if I didn't have to pay for things like lessons, sports, clothes...that would mean my children wouldn't have these experiences. How sad I would be if there was never spilled milk or throw up or gum or messes of any kind...that would mean I don't have children. Someday, my house will be quiet. I will not have a child climbing into my bed. No one will have the radio up too loud. Bikes, baseball and bases will be a thing of the past. And I will miss them!


"Life is not the way it's supposed to be. It is the way it is. The way you cope with it is what makes the difference." ~ Virginia Satir

Obviously, Ryan is playing baseball again this year. He is in the third grade so this is the first year of "kid pitch". These pictures are a little out of order. I still cannot figure out how to post the pictures where I want them! Anyway, prior to his game, he wanted me to take some "action shots" of him in the front yard. The first picture is actually at the game...his first time on the mound! He pitched a no-hitter in the three innings he was allowed to pitch.

These pictures are of Grace and a few of her friends. Grace has the most fun having pictures taken of her making a silly face or doing something off the wall If I was her age, I would definitely want to hang out with her!

When I was putting Grace to bed the other night, I took the book she was holding and started to put it away. She said, "Mom, you know I like to snuggle up with a book!" I didn't realize she took this saying so literally. :)

My children have chores but since Nathan is so young, his aren't well defined. This day he was "helping" me fold laundry. He was so proud...he found a hat!

Car Rides and Qs

Here is a typical conversation with Ryan during a car ride:

Ryan: Mom, I have a question.
Me: What's your Q? (Ryan used to call all questions "Q"s so this is how I answer him now.)
Ryan: Is marble heavier than concrete?
Me: Yes
Ryan: Well, which is stronger?
Me: I believe marble would be stronger.
Ryan: What about steel? Is marble stronger than steel?
Me: I guess that would depend on the size and thickness of each.
Ryan: Well, what if they were both the size of a car?
Me: (How I am I supposed to know this stuff?) Uh...I'm not really sure.
Ryan: What about silk? My teacher said that silk is really strong...could it be stronger than steel.
Me: (Really??? Silk???) Hmmm...I guess if the silk was compounded together, layer upon layer, then I guess it would be possible but it would also depend on the thickness of the steel. (Geez...I have no idea)
Ryan: Mom, if Marius Pudzianowski had to lift marble and there was a clone of Marius Pudzianowski who had to lift steel, who would win?
Me: I guess that would depend on the weight of each?
Ryan: Well, like if it was the same size but one was heavier than the other, who would win?
Me: (My head is hurting) Not really sure...I know nothing about body builders, Ryan.
After a brief pause...
Ryan: Mom. How fast do you think a fighter jet goes?
Me: I have no clue.
Ryan: Which is bigger, a mammoth or a mastadon?
Me: Ummm...
Ryan: How far do you think it is to the center of the Earth?
Me: (eeeeeeek...my head is spinning)
Ryan: Mom...do you think Bill Gates is in debt?
Me: I don't know, Ryan...why don't you call him yourself and ask.
Ryan: What about NBA players? Do you think they have debt?
Me: (Ughhhh!)
Ryan: Can a rocket ship go 25,000 miles an hour?
Me: (Are we home yet????)
Ryan: How tall is the tallest building in the world?
Me: (I need a nap!!!)

FYI

I recently shared a story about Grace...something that happened around Christmas time involving the assembly of a gingerbread house and the "fun" that followed. Although it was written recently, I assigned it a date in December. If you would like to read it, you will have to go back to my December posts. :)

Nathanease

For those of you who don't understand Nathan-ease, here is your Nathan to English dictionary brought to you by Grace and "Me".

Truck = F@!#
Gum = Mug
Grace = Race
Ryan = Ry Ry
Please = Peace
Christmas = Mis mis
Sucker = Gucka
Ice Cream = Ah-key
Chip = Pip
Movie = Vee vee
Pepsi = Poppie
Chocolate = Hawk hawk
Apple Juice = Appa Goock
Milk = Muck
Candy = Nanny
Sleeping =beeping
Grandma = grrrrr mama
Cereal = eeee oh
Thank you = geek ooo
Blanket =bankeck
Jacket = gackeck
Snow = No

There is one more thing we should point out. Everything belongs to Nathan. So, you must say "me" before every word in his language. Here is a test to determine if you have mastered Nathanease:

1) If I said, "Candy" then in Nathanease it would be ______________.
2) Truck = __________________.
3) Chocolate Chip = _____________________.

The correct answers are: 1) Me nanny, 2) Me f@#!, and 3) Me hawk hawk pip.

If you got the correct answers you are well on your way to understanding Nathanease.

Carrollton...Rest in Peace

I don't know how old I was when I began to hear the rumors about the airport's plan to expand. I must have been in high school. There were just tidbits of information I would receive about meetings that were held between the airport and city officials. One of the plans was to purchase every house in our neighborhood, level it out and build a runway. I remember thinking that it would never happen. The neighborhood was well established...so many people lived there. There were two churches, schools and a neighborhood pool. I imagined the expense of it all. Not to mention the fact that the residents of my community would never agree to such a thing!

It might have been in a major metropolitan area but Bridgeton had that small town feel. Carrollton was just one subdivision in Bridgeton and it was a close community. My parents bought our house even before I arrived so it was in this house where I came into the world and it was from this house I moved after I got married.

I don't quite know how to convey the security I felt when I was growing up and how my neighborhood, friends and neighbors were such a big part of that feeling. It was my friends, Bobby, Gina, Shannon and Laura, who I played with all the time. It was the old couple down the street, Bob and Jessie, who let me play in their yard and who always enjoyed my company when they were sitting on their back porch. It was Mr. S whistling every time I walked outside. It was Jean across the street who never wanted us playing in her yard and yelled at us half the time but who also clearly appreciated our family and the help my dad would give her when she needed it. It was the neighbors across the street for whom I babysat. It was the clown down the street who made balloon animals for us every Halloween but God forbid we stepped in his yard any other time of the year!

I have so many memories, both good and bad, that created "me". Riding bikes in the church lot, climbing the Haefner's tree, trick-or-treating, spying on friends, building the most incredible forts after the huge snow storm in 1982 and having snow ball fights with friends, running inside every time the fighter jets flew overhead because the sound scared me, swinging in my back yard, fighting with Stephanie, flashlight "communication" with Bobby, tar tag and kick the can, catching lightning bugs, skinned knees, watching my dog giving birth to puppies, burying the dead one in our backyard, walking to school for the first time and several times after that, being flashed, the pool, the St. Lawrence carnival, walking to Dairy Queen for ice cream and Corner Drug Store for candy, watching the storm sewers flood after a big rain, the sound of church bells, introducing myself to every new neighbor and inviting them to church, parades, fire works, taking dares, exploring...

As I got older, it was talking on the phone, Gina picking me up for school in her little red truck, learning how to drive, sitting outside waiting...hoping...for someone to stop by, sitting outside on the driveway talking to friends, summer nights, sneaking drinks, sitting in cars with boys...And even later, it was late night conversations, make out sessions and my loss of virginity with my future husband.

Every year my mom would have my sisters and I stand against the wall in the closet so she could mark our growth. In the fourth grade, Mrs. Jones gave me a tree to plant. I planted it in my back yard and every year I watched it grow...an amazing experience. As it's roots buried deeper into the ground, so did mine.

As time passed, the rumors of the airport's plan for expansion became a reality. One by one, homes were being purchased. Many people would fight, refusing to sell their homes. But as property values declined so did peoples' desire to make improvements to their home. It was a neighborhood depressed. The crime rate increased as looters raided vacant homes. Because home owners weren't making improvements their property deteriorated and looters, assuming houses were unoccupied, would break into homes that were still inhabited. Driving through the neighborhood, you could see signs in yards saying, "Someone still lives here" or "I won't think twice about shooting an intruder." Arson claimed several homes.

My childhood home was bought out long ago forcing my sister and her daughter to move. Although it lay empty, something kept pulling me back to that place. I would sit outside staring at this place that raised me....staring at the tree that I planted...angry at those people that thought displacing an entire neighborhood was a good idea for a runway that is barely used. After it was torn down, I stood on the rubble that was my home. After it was cleared away, I drove by over and over...at least my tree was still standing. Eventually, access to my street was denied by huge concrete barriers. And this past Monday, February 8th, the last house in Carrollton was torn down.

My childhood home is gone, the neighborhood nonexistent, but I still feel the pull. I think there will always be a part of me that will be searching for my home. And I hope someday I will find that special place where I can plant another tree and establish those roots again. Until then, I will keep driving by...

Let's get to work...

Okay...I was thrilled with the events of yesterday. The inauguration was motivating and inspiring. I was moved by the people of this great country who came together in a spirit of unity to welcome and embrace our new President. I truly have hope for the future. But, in all honesty, I did not vote for Barack Obama and I doubt that he possesses the "magic" that others seem to think he has. I do not wish for him to fail...exactly the opposite. I do like him alot but I am not going to be blinded by his charisma or how mainstream media portrays him. Anybody can look like a saint if the film is edited in a flattering way. Now I want to see what he and our other leaders do. The next four years will surely be interesting to watch!

A Dream Fulfilled

Every year on this day, I read Martin Luther King, Jr's "I Have a Dream" speech and every year I am touched and moved to tears by his words describing the world that once was and his vision and hope for the future. Today his words are especially moving as our country welcomes and celebrates the inauguration of our country's first black president, Barack Obama. Thank God for Dr. King and people like him who have fought for their dreams and for the freedom of the people of our country. If not for them, this day might not have ever come.

Desiderata, by Max Ehrmann

I came across this poem on a friend's blog and fell in love with it. Written by Max Ehrmann, the poem was inspired by an urge that the author wrote about in his diary, "I should like, if I could, to leave a humble gift -- a bit of chaste prose that had caught up some noble moods." So, I pass his gift on...

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others,even to the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals,and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love, for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass. Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful.

Strive to be happy.

Thought of the Day

"How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, and tolerant of the weak and strong. Because someday in your life you will have been all of these." --George Washington Carver

Words of Love and Wisdom

There are several phrases I seem to repeat to my children. Here are some of them:

1) I love you in whatever way you say plus one. (In response to our "I love you" competitions)
2) Treat others the way you wish to be treated....not the way you WERE treated.

3) It's the journey, not the destination that is important.

4) Respect my boundaries and expect others to do the same for you.

5) Two wrongs don't make a right!

6) Be careful! (Does that phrase really work???)

7) Stay together!

8) If you are always wishing for something different you will never be happy with what you have.

9) Have I told you I think you are the best kids in the world?

10) (This one helps me understand God) No matter what you do, wrong or right, no matter what mistakes you make, or who you hurt, I will always, always love you!!!!