Graduation

Graduation...an end and a beginning. A time in life when one crosses over from one phase to the next, the beginning of another chapter.

Throughout life, there are experiences that force us to grow up. These experiences are not always welcome but necessary. I remember walking her into the school on her first day, feeling her fear and hesitation, wanting to hold her close and never let her go. She cried when I left... begged me to return. I would wait at the end of the hall around the corner where she couldn't see me, praying that the tears would stop. I could hear her pleading, "Mommy, please come back! I want to go with you!" It took all the strength in me not to run into the room, scoop her into my arms and take her with me. Instead, I went to my car and broke down in tears. Was this a necessary exercise? We both had to adjust to independence. She needed to grow and I needed to allow her to do so. I missed her as much as she missed me...maybe more...because I was losing my baby! She was growing up and this was a small preview of what is to come.

Each day became easier for both of us. No longer were our walks down the hall accompanied by tears, begging and dragging feet. Now the halls echoed with singing, laughter and children saying, "Hi, Grace!". Okay, it wasn't always this rosy. Every Monday still brought on some hesitation on Grace's part. I eventually diagnosed it as the Monday Morning Allergy. I explained to her teachers that Grace is allergic to Mondays and should be allowed to lay down every Monday morning until she recovers from it. Amazingly, the allergy would clear up after about 15 minutes of rest. There were also times when she refused to walk down the hall to the classroom. A big thanks to the Parenting with Love and Logic techniques...I would offer her a choice, "Do you want to skip backwards or forwards down the hall to your classroom?" She would always choose backwards so every day since that time, she skipped backwards down the hall, holding my hand.

It has been awesome to witness the changes in Grace academically, emotionally, and socially over the past three years. At three, she could barely sound out a word. Now, she is reading books to me! Hearing your child read for the first time is an incredible, amazing experience. At three and four, she was learning to count...now she's multiplying and dividing! She's only six! At three, she was playing independently, spending most of her recess on the swing or digging in the sand, not seeming to notice or care about the children around her. Now, talk of her day always involves her best friends: Kennedy, Brandi and Brooke. At three, she was shy, uncomfortable around other children and adults, didn't want people looking at her or laughing at anything she said. The other day, she showed everyone her "graduation dance", wiggling her little body all over the place, moving her arms back and forth without an embarrassed bone in her body! I am so proud of the changes I see, so proud of the girl she is and so proud of the young woman I know she will become.

Graduation day...her flowered dress, white sandals, blonde hair with a braid down the back, big blue eyes, black graduation cap affixed firmly on her head, big smile, head up high, walking down the aisle to the front of the church. Grace usually shies away from having her picture taken but today, she offered a warm smile to anyone who held a camera in front of her. She seemed to feel some pride in her accomplishments. Maybe that is me assigning feelings to the day...she was most likely just really glad that it was the last day of school! But I recognize the difference in her, how she has grown, the confidence she now possesses.

So, now she enters this new chapter of her life and leaves the last one behind. We move on toward our march to independence, hers and mine. I am sure we will continue this mother-daughter dance of me pulling her close and letting her go until, little by little, she learns to dance on her own.