I mowed the lawn yesterday. Of course I had some help...I hate that I can't start the lawn mower on my own! Mike always has to get it going the first time and then I can usually do it after that. It's really embarrassing when I want to mow the lawn when he's not at home, like during the week when I am off work. I just hope and pray that no one is watching me! For those of you who know me, you can imagine how ridiculous I must look...a little 103 pound woman trying to pull that string over and over...I feel like a kid! :-) But once I get it started, I feel a little proud of myself that I actually did it.
There is something inside of me that always believes I can do anything if I try hard enough. As I was mowing the lawn and humming the song, "Welcome to the Jungle", (the grass was VERY long) I was analyzing this feeling I have...like I am capable of most things. Where did that come from? I am constantly trying to figure out where my feelings "come from". But I think I figured it out, at least partially. It had to do with my dad and opening jars.
When I was a little girl, I had a gift...or I believed I had a gift...of opening jars. It didn't matter how difficult they were to open...I could do it! I proved it all the time at the dinner table. My mom would bring the food to the table and inevitably there would be a jar of something. She would give it to my dad to open and he would try and try and couldn't ever make them budge. So he would ask me. Amazingly, I could do it! Sometimes he would even pass the jar around to my older sisters so they could attempt to open it. Eventually it would get to me and due to my brute strength the jar would open. The family was always wowed by my ability and I was so proud of myself. I would smile from ear to ear and each day at the dinner table I would offer to open the jars.
It's embarrassing to say that it wasn't until much later in my life that I realized what my dad was doing. I know now that he was loosening them up and pretending not to be able to open them and that my sisters must have been in on this deception. But I am thankful for this experience because that feeling of pride in my accomplishments is now a part of me. I want to be able to open that jar that no one else can open. I love the feeling of achieving something that is difficult...even something as simple...but difficult for me...like starting a lawn mower.
1 comment:
I vaguely remember those jar-opening incidents. Who would have guessed that those little, seemingly insignificant moments would be so fondly remembered. Please share some more of your childhood memories from time to time. I'm sure there are many things I have forgotten and some that I didn't know in the first place.
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